You Keep Hoping the Rattlesnake Won't Bite You

When my father died two years ago, I said to my brother that it didn't have to be this way. Dad could have closed things out with us or reconciled or just trusted us enough to make us feel closer.

A friend of my brother gave us clarity. He said that what we wanted was simply not in my dad's nature to give. We kept asking why a rattlesnake would bite us rather than accepting the rattlesnake's nature and managing accordingly.

Acceptance does not mean you have to be happy about how someone is behaving or like it. It does mean you have to understand you cannot change them. That's up to them. What you can do is show people how you want to be treated and take action if they won't give you that treatment. 

In other words we need "the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed, courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other" (the Serenity Prayer).

Accept others, but protect yourself.